do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
