Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
