i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
