the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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