What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
