yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
