i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
