First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
