Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
