is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
