I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
