The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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