yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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