Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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