my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize