Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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