awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize