thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
