well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
