I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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