singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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