I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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