Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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