Having a random hookup so left but love u
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
