the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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