Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
