Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize