you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize