I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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