I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
soo... how was my night?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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