So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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