There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
