haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
