please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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