Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
