shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
