Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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