i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
