Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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