Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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