We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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