He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize