We're facebook friends in real life
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
