I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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