you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
