Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
