Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
