either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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