you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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