My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
