help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Where is the hickey?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
