i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
