so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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