i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
