It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
