I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
