lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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