i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
