i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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