i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
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Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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