he wants to bone in the snuggie
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Randomize
