Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
