i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
