remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize